my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
