At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
