in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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