I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
