We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
