Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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