he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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