I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
