We won't sleep together?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
