you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
