Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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