Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
