Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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