erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
