Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
