Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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