Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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