So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I believe in your delicious
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
