so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
vagina is talking i cant
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
