I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
