Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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