this boner is exhausting
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
