She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
