Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
