My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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