At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
