There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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