I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize