He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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