Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
