READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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