I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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