Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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