is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
