are you still at the devil's house?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
