How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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