I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
