the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
