best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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