somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
