Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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