I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
