I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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