dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Your dad touched me again.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We need a shit load of segways right now
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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