from now on my penis is your penis
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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