brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
