shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
