Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
