i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
