Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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