so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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