We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize