I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
