The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
