it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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