I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
