I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The beer is more important than you right now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
