Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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