everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
