Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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