Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
