DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
