My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
