i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Less talking, more tequila
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
