Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
