I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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