wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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