can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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