fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Terrible idea I love it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize