At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
