Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
