I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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