honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
