okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
