oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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