ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
