No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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