My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want nice things and good sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
