Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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