I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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