i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
